“I’m crazy I am”

Had a call this morning from a colorectal nurse about the results of Elliot’s latest x-ray. He’s still very constipated, despite being on three different laxatives at the minute, so we need to go in and have a chat about possibly adjusting his medication again.

We’ve not seen this nurse before, we normally see a urology nurse and a urology specialist. We’ve never been quite sure why we only see ‘wee based’ professionals when the problem is wee and poo (and we’re regularly told that once the poo is sorted the wee will follow). So it’s somewhat promising that we’ll see a ‘poo based’ nurse.

The poo man seemed very jolly on the phone. Worrying so. I think he may be the children’s outpatient equivalent of The Office Joker. I think he did actually say ‘I’m crazy I am’. He definitely did say ‘you’ll enjoy seeing me’ in the manner of someone who wears comedy socks and superglues pound coins to the floor.

Although I jest, he did actually sound like someone who would be good with children, and that, from our experience so far, is a rare and special thing. Too many consultants have talked to us over Elliot’s head, about all the things he finds the most upsetting and humiliating in the world, and then seemed surprised when he refused to answer their questions.

So we’ll how it goes with colorectal man. I guess working with colons and rectums all day you need a sense of humour. Though I’ll not be best pleased if he brings out a comedy plastic dog turd.


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